May 2023
I haven't written anything here for a long time, I'm going through an inner crisis... It's such a subconscious crisis because I keep telling myself that everything is OK.
Within two weeks I was at the funeral of my uncle Jozef Tkáč (56) and immediately afterwards at the funeral of my friend Lukáš Halický (41). I keep telling myself "I am strong, be strong, meditate, do sports and de-stress." Actually, all of life is constant stress with small pauses...
But what do I know if we suppress the feelings of such tragic events by cycling, sitting under a tree...?
From my own experience, no. I realize how fragile we are. When I see my daughter lying on a sun lounger under the sun, I immediately get scared that she is in the hospital... I cough out loud to shake off that dark image. Within a year, Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle and Luke have died. I ride my motorcycle and think about them. Where are they? Did they meet? Probably not, but what if? The "cliché" about enjoying life comes to mind. I do enjoy and appreciate it! And? And now what? Will it be good?
I was in Fričovce on Saturday. I saw my grandfather's garage and garden. I lived my childhood there. They say that whatever our childhood is, we will have only good memories of it. I have beautiful memories of my childhood thanks to my grandfather, my grandmother, my uncle and later also to Lukas. Two-month holidays in the yard and in the woods. My uncle was a truck driver. He used to bring me foreign shampoos and toys from his travels. When he brought FA, everyone envied him. In the village, we used to stand by the side of the road as kids waiting for a passing trucker to throw an empty can out the window. My brother and I used to make a display case for them by the barn. Lukas and I used to play guitars behind the ice cream stand as teenagers. My first improvisations. We used to go on road trips with the kids.
On Saturdays in Fričovce, everything seemed to be that grandma, grandpa or uncle would come down the stairs... They would ask me if I wanted coffee and load me up with eggs, fruit and vegetables. They don't come... They're about half a kilometer north under a pile of dirt... They say they're fine now... Lukáš has been suffering for six years. We were in Prague together for proton therapy. I kept trying to make him laugh. He was in a lot of pain. He was always smiling, positive and wanted to live. He died at the age of 41. It's terrible.
After my uncle died, I recorded Requiem for Uncle. I used Arve's trumpets from the Unexpected Isolation album. My grandfather was the brass band leader in Fričovce so I decided to put a trumpet in the Requiem. He was very proud of me.
I wanted to use this requiem to express my sadness for the loss of all three, and now four.
I've been playing very little for the last two weeks... I've been practicing the basics on guitar and just airing out in the studio. I've started planting trees. I'm digging, planting, watering. David Jr. has started driving a car, which makes me very happy. I'm enjoying my little cat, Murko. I watch him sleeping, hiding in the grass, trying to catch a fly. Actually, I enjoy everything every day.
Soon I'm playing in Prague and I have to start preparing. My new album with Arve and Rick is in the next phase and it's called Pentimento. It's just a working title for now. Pentimento is a painting technique in which a new layer is applied on top of an old layer. It's taking part of the old layer and applying a new layer. Jon Hassel used this term in music.
I mixed a live concert with Rick Cox, Paolo Raineri and Erik Truffaz. Tomas Mutina mastered it and we will release it on CD this summer on the Hevhetia label. For the last few weeks I've been working on the music sketches for the film Miki. It's a big film project and I want to make the music as good as possible.
David